Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize