Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
