alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
