Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
