Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize