Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i believe in u and ur pee
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
