the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You ate ashes out of my bong
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
