I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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