Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
