I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize