its not stalking. its research.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
