the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
