i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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