Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
