if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The Olympian is in my bed
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