My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have tasted many bathrooms
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
