I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
