your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
