Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
