so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
His hands were made for my vagina.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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