Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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