That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
