history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
