I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
