We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
