i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
