and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize