Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dick very happy bro
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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