Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize