Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
