that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
