escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
