I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
