i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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