just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
