Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
