as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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