Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
