So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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