I puked a lego.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
