Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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