Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
