I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize