You were right. It hurts to walk today.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
