I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
