Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
