Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
