laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
