her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
