well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
