I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize