I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
