How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
