i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize