my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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