so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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