Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
