I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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