I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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