Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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