I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just cropdusted the office
4 words: hood of his car
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
