Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
