i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Rumble strips road head = magical
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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