My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
