I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
