I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
